Will start the post by saying: I always wanted to be a good driver. I love the idea of road trips and imagined myself driving somewhere beautiful with Degi—Italy, Greece, Spain, maybe even Iceland. And honestly, I still imagine it.

People often say the easiest way to overcome fear is simply to face it more often and get used to it. But for me it wasn’t that simple. Even the thought of driving could trigger anxiety. I couldn’t focus on anything pleasant. My mind would instantly create dozens of dangerous scenarios, almost like those little characters in Inside Out pushing the panic button, when Anxiety controls.

At some point I realized I wasn’t alone. My driving instructor told me he had many students who were actually very good drivers, but they struggled to relax and control their anxiety. Some of them failed their driving exam two, three, even four times. When I asked what exactly scared them, many mentioned the same things: the speed of the car or the fear of making the wrong decision in a split second. I understood them completely, because I felt the same.

Of course, my family and friends supported me. Everyone was ready to help and share advice. But somehow, nothing really worked for me.

Giving up was never an option. I couldn’t accept the idea that I wouldn’t be able to drive confidently one day. So when I moved to the Netherlands, I joined a driving school. Because I already had some experience, they recommended around 25 hours of lessons. But after a few months, I felt like nothing was changing in my mindset.

Before each class, I felt tense and nervous. Sometimes I couldn’t eat. My hands would shake, and I would walk around just to calm down.

Still, I had no idea how to deal with the anxiety. The Dutch driving exam is known for being quite challenging, with a relatively low passing rate. I tried searching online for solutions. Many articles suggested breathing exercises. I tried them, but they didn’t really help. Instead, I became more frustrated with myself. So many people drive every day and enjoy it—why couldn’t I?

One day, I had a long conversation with my instructor. He told me something very simple:
“You can drive a car. You just overthink.”

At first, I didn’t completely agree. But deep down, I knew he was right. Something in my mind kept getting stuck in a loop. As soon as I made one small mistake, my thoughts would spiral, and I would start making more mistakes.

Reflecting on my errors helped me avoid repeating them, but it didn’t solve the anxiety itself.

I remember one particular lesson when my instructor asked me to drive without his help. That day, I made more mistakes than ever before. I was completely trapped in my thoughts. And then, slowly, I discovered something that helped.

I started saying things out loud while driving. Simple observations like:
“Pedestrian ahead.”
“Bike on the right.”
“That car has priority, I need to wait.”

It probably looked a bit strange from the outside—someone talking to themselves while driving for an hour. But it worked. Especially in complicated situations, it stopped my brain from drifting into overthinking. Instead, I stayed focused on what was actually happening on the road.

Over time, you start recognizing patterns. The road becomes more familiar. Situations feel less overwhelming.

And little by little, the fear begins to lose its power.

In the next chapter, I’ll tell you about my Dutch driving exam…

Have you ever experienced something similar?
Feel free to share your story in the comments.