Giving gifts is important in any relationship. You may say, “Gifts aren’t important; attention is.” On the one hand, this is true. On the other hand, a gift can make your soulmate’s dream come true—whether it’s something they have always wanted or simply something they love.

When I think about the gifts I’ve given to Degi, I know they meant a lot to both of us. Not because of their price, but because of the thought behind them. Choosing a gift takes time—thinking, researching, imagining the moment she opens it. It was never about buying something just because an occasion demanded it. It was always about one quiet question in my mind: How can I make her smile more?

Since our university days, we have dreamed endlessly about the things we wanted in life. We used to joke, “One day we’ll have everything we want, just like Blair and Serena” from Gossip Girl. One year, for Degi’s birthday, I gave her cupcakes—each one symbolizing one of our dreams. Have we fulfilled all of them? Not yet. But we’re moving toward them, step by step.

Over time, I realized that my secrets to giving gifts are actually very simple.

• I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with asking what someone wants—people are different, shaped by their culture, interests, and circumstances.
• Sometimes, understanding someone means paying attention to small details: what they share online, what excites them, what they talk about without noticing.
• Some families even create wishlists to avoid unwanted gifts, and joining one can be its own form of care.
• And sometimes, a gift doesn’t have to be an object at all—contributing money toward a dream, education, or something meaningful can be just as powerful.

Every time Degi and I ask each other what we want as a gift, I’m reminded of how many of her gifts have quietly fulfilled my own dreams. The key pendants, the flight vouchers, the pillowcase she gave me because she wanted my hair to stay healthy—even the towel for the same reason. Simple things, chosen with love, that make me feel seen and special.

It’s a beautiful thing to dream, to set goals, and to slowly achieve them.

But it’s even more special to have someone who helps you along the way. People often say it’s hard to buy gifts for someone “who has everything,” but I don’t believe that. There is always something meaningful—a personal detail, a small collectible, a thoughtful gesture—that reminds someone they are loved.